Writing a memoir is a daunting task. I’ve had a million ideas about how to structure my story; false starts abound. Do I start with my childhood? Or the semi-poem I wrote about waking up from my stroke? Or the sneeze that kicked off everything (when two of my discs ruptured), hence my first spinal surgery? Or my visit to Bogen, Germany, when the nurses shaved my groin with barber-style clippers while my bedmate and friends saw the whole thing? Structure is my nemesis. My writing process is laborious and painstakingly slow.
I started writing essays about five years ago, to start small. I submitted my “Catching Fireflies: How I Learned to Play the Stroke Card” in 2017 to half a dozen literary magazines and of course all were rejected. Honestly, I’m not heartbroken when I get those responses; it means A) someone has read my work and B) it makes me a better writer. The more feedback I get the merrier.
The most recent piece I wrote, “Stroke Jokes Are No Laughing Matter,” is about being tired of being the butt of the joke when stroke is used as a punchline not only in film and TV, but also in books and podcasts. I’ve been hyper aware of those instances after my stroke when they pop up. I started keeping track but gave up because there are too many. (I also kept track of my writing time for this piece; it took 101 hours!) I’ve been pissed off about this thing — being the punchline — for years, and my frustration is what fueled my energy to keep plugging away to “finish” it (there is no such thing as “finish” in The Land of Writers). I sent my piece to my family and friends for feedback while I was working it, and that made a world of difference. Getting other people’s take helped me in shaping my essay enormously.
My plan was to submit my piece to The New York Times “Guest Essay” column. (Why not shoot for the stars?!) The NYT has bucket loads of guidelines before you can submit; the word limit is 1200. I’m still working on polishing that one because it is hugely challenging — it means chopping huge critical chunks from the much longer piece I wrote. The longer one is done (whatever that means!) and I’m thrilled to have found an expert who specializes in finding the right magazines to submit your work. Thank you Chelsey Clammer!! She gave me a list of seven so I started at the top with “The Mighty” and “The Mindful Word” and twelve hours later, the “The Mindful Word” editor accepted my essay! And the next day, “The Mighty” accepted it, too! (Perhaps she is magic?)
This, my friends, is what you might call An Unusual Occurrence. How many times have you gotten two pieces accepted, right off the bat?! I’d agree with that assessment, wouldn’t you? What a confidence booster!
The pieces I've published are in my high school's literary magazine; my own book of collected short stories entitled, From What I Can Tell (by my 17 year-old self); Brown's literary magazine; and two op-ed pieces in the Providence Journal in response to the homophobic backlash related to the AIDS epidemic of the mid-80s. I won awards for Creative Writing in school.
Excluding those glorious treatises, it has come to pass that my name is print for all the world to see! I must say, I am quite proud of myself. I poured my heart and soul into writing it.
My essay has been published in “The Mindful Word” and “The Mighty”. It irks me a bit that the editor can do pretty much whatever s/he likes; I don’t care for the new title AND the ending — it really wrecks the flow — but that, unfortunately, is out of my hands.
It turns out I know how to write :)