When my low back started to bother me, initially, I brushed it off. I was young then: in college, 19 years old, and still resilient. I bounced back from my pain episodes quickly. But when the pain came back a few years later, I recognized the same sort of twinge, yet the twinges multiplied and changed into much more, like throbbing, dull aching; a pulse that wouldn't go away.
I moved from Rhode Island (where I went to school) to San Francisco to finish a double degree I was working on in 1992. After a stint teaching high school, then cooking professionally for more than a decade, I accidentally landed in tech (after a serious wrist-shattering injury that took two years from which to recover), and I never felt comfortable cooped up in an office, at a cubicle, with no clear exit route to get the hell out. I didn’t love what I was doing, but I was hella good at it, and it paid well. I spent about fifteen years working at a variety of software companies, working my way up the ladder to senior director and chief of staff roles.
Nathan and me holding hands as we cross the finish line in Honolulu.
A major plus of living in San Francisco was the sports. I fell in love with snowboarding and surfing, Northern California known for its snow and the icy cold waters of the Pacific Ocean. I trained and ran two marathons, back-to-back, in 2000 and 2001. I knew what shin splints felt like and I knew at least one of my knees was in rough shape, and I ran and snowboarded and surfed anyway.
But what hurt the most was my low back. Those episodes began to appear periodically, getting worse each time. I had miss work for one or two weeks, while Dr. Sabrina Bridges*, my primary care physician, prescribed physical therapy, anti-inflammatories, and vicodin, none of which brought lasting relief.
Years went by. Trying everything, nothing helped. Any walking, standing, sitting, all of it just wore me down.
Later, after conservative treatment failed and the episodes continued, Dr. Bridges diagnosed Degenerative Disc Disease. I ran my last marathon in Honolulu December, 2001.
I used to be an athlete. I felt like a lost part of myself.
*Doctor name changed for privacy.